I have been thinking about writing this post for awhile. One night, as I was lying awake, I had several post ideas come to me.

You can call me crazy, but I always have a feeling the Holy Spirit gives me those ideas.

Anyway, this post is one of those. It took me so long to write because I was struggling to figure out how to make it sound “good” and “wise” and what people would ultimately want to hear. Good principle, when you are trying to educate. In this case, however, I am trying to educate and convince.

I wasn’t coming up with much. What I was coming up with were the big things: my children, my husband, my marriage. All true, all good, all HIS.

But I was missing one huge component, that starts from the core of who I am in this new journey of my life. My job, my mission, and my purpose.

What I Have and What I Didn’t Want To Give Up

I am fairly new to the world of blogging, and it’s tough to give up control of your job when you are convinced no one knows you and how you do things better than you do. Even though I was and still am looking to others for support and guidance, I was still adamant that I would do this new biz my way.

Yet again, I was assuming that with my willpower and work ethic, everything would go just the way I wanted it to.

I would have the few clients that I wanted in my virtual assistant business.

I would have a bunch of blog posts with many website views.

I would create relationships with cool people online, forming bonds that could last a lifetime.

I would help thousands of people with my info and products.

Those are the dreams and goals I still have, don’t get me wrong.

But I went about it the wrong way.

You see, as much as my desire to earn income and grow as a business was, I was determined to do it without my inspiration in the first place. God led me to create my website and working towards being a VA. I have no doubt about that.

Yet I was (and will continue to be at times) too stubborn to let God take over my business, to guide me in what steps to take next, in who to pitch, how to be real and genuine in my faith and purpose online.

It was all about me. 

I Have a Wake-up Call

In a fortunate and totally God-led series of events, I lost my Internet for 4 days.

I know it seems pathetic to even lament its loss, but it made me go a little bonkers. I couldn’t work, I couldn’t pitch clients, I couldn’t post on my site, I couldn’t update my social media.

It was killing me.

I searched hard to find things to do without the Internet, but everything seemed futile without my lifeline to the outside world.

Then a part of me wondered if I could actually spend 4 days without Internet. I found some informational PDFs I had previously downloaded and brushed up on small business practices and tax information. But even that seemed dull.

So I cleaned. A lot. And played with and enjoyed my children. And hung out with family. And went to work cows with my husband. And just enjoyed the weather.

And it’s still been really hard to not dig my hands in and work.

God found me at my lowest point on a Tuesday and gently reminded me that everything I have is His. The daily reading and devotional I get in my inbox on this day really hit home and made me reevaluate why I am even on this Work at Home journey.

Why I Want All to be His

I knew it was changing me, but I underestimated how much. I am foolish to think I can always clear my own path. If I am His, then all I have is His.

That most definitely includes my business, my blog, and future endeavors as a wife, mother, blogger, and virtual assistant.

I shouldn’t worry about when I’ll get my next clients, I shouldn’t obsess over how many views my posts are getting.

I should simply to the work that I am called to do through our Lord Jesus Christ, with His guidance and grace bestowed upon me.

I am merely an instrument. All I have is His.

(Side note: obviously, I am back on the Internet now, but those four days were of learning, tears, and much joy and peace! You want to know why my Internet had stopped working?? The plug on the antenna on the roof had come loose. The repairman thought it might have been from a bird or a squirrel! Haha, it would happen to me!)