The One Mistake You Are Making When You Pray

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As Christians, I think it is a natural inclination to pray.

We pray mostly when we are in need of something, whether physical, mental or spiritual. We pray when we are grateful for something, or when others need healing.

What’s wrong with these prayers? You ask.

Absolutely nothing. In fact, keep praying. Pray harder. Pray more. The trouble is what we forget to do in addition to our prayer.

I’m not talking about saying “Amen” or praying with certain prayers or going to a church to pray.

So what is it?

The One Mistake We Make

I know you’re dying to know. This is the one thing that God desires the most out of us. The one thing that is essential to a truly well-rounded relationship with God.

You ready to hear it?

Silence.

What?

Shhhh….that’s what’s I said. Silence.

You must be quiet before our Lord to hear what he has to tell you.

Would you like it if a dear friend of yours talks about her life and her problems all the time and never lets you get a word in edgewise?

You would be hurt, feel unloved, and maybe furious if she did that to you!

Likewise, think of how you feel when a family member can make excuse after excuse to not come to visit because she is “oh so busy!”

What utter disgrace. But don’t we make this mistake, too?

Now think about how God feels when you do that.

I can’t pass any judgment because I do it all the time. And recently I have been challenged to just sit and BE.

Be with God for no other reason than I enjoy spending time with Him. For no other reason than I want my relationship to be better.

Just sitting in silence and meditating on His holy presence.

Let’s get something straight. God, being the omniscient, all-powerful God He is, doesn’t really need us to have a relationship with us. He is who He is, with or without us.

But He wants us to desire that relationship. So very badly. So much that He sent his Son (his Son, people! I would not be willing to do that for one person, much less the entire world!) to show us how much He loves us by dying for our heinous crimes.

Wow.

Might we consider it a crime to not truly spend time with our Lord? Can we reverse this mistake?

How Do We Avoid This Prayer Mistake?

I get not really having a quiet moment in your house. Please don’t think that I mean you have to get up early or go to bed later to have your moments of quiet. But if that works for you, go for it.

While a few minutes a day is good, it can be even more beneficial if you spend that time in silence for up to 15 minutes or even an hour (hello, adoration hour!)

God understands our life and what’s going on in it, He won’t hold it against you. But he is lovingly inviting you to come back to him with your heart open and ready to hear what He has to tell you.

Here are a few ideas:

Turn off the noise

• Phones, TV, Netflix, radio, etc
• I find it so very hard to even speak to God when I am involved in using technology in some way.
• Realize that there is a time and place for them, but not during your quiet time with God.
• If you’re the kind of person that needs background noise to stay sane, use this Christian Meditation audio track to help you stay focused on Jesus.

Quiet your mind

• This might take a while to perfect since I find I have so much going on in my head almost every moment.
• Try closing your eyes, taking a few cleansing deep breaths, and repeat “Jesus” or “Jesus, I trust in You” over and over in your mind.
• This helps me to focus on one thing (or person, in this case.) and clears my head to revel in time with our Lord.

Use the PRAY outline

• P for Praise: the first part of your praying should be praise given for gifts, blessings, prayers answers, etc.
• R for Repent: sorrowfully recount your shortcomings of the day, and ask for forgiveness.
• A for Ask: appeal to the Lord for your special intention or concern.
• Y for Yield: this is the time when silence is essential. When we listen for direction and submit to the Lord’s will for our life.

This formula just may help you find the peacefulness of just BEING with God.

I met Father Oscar Lukefahr at Theology on Tap meeting I attended in college. He was talking about the four levels of happiness (book link here), and later I received all of his books as a gift. While I have seen the PRAY outline in several places, he suggests using ACTS to remind us of what prayer is.

“Prayer is Adoration–worshiping and praising God as the Supreme Being from whom everything receives its existence. Prayer is Contrition–expressing sorrow for our sins and failings, recognizing God as a loving savior who understands our weakness and lifts us up when we fall. Prayer is Thanksgiving–recognizing God as the source of all that is good, expressing gratitude for God’s countless blessings. Prayer is Supplication–petition, asking God for what we need.” Living in God’s Presence, pg 41

If you are interested in reading his book about prayer, it is called We Pray: Living in God’s Presence. 

God Redeems Our Mistakes – They Can Be Fixed

I speak about this idea of silence because I believe this is one beautiful way to grow closer to Jesus.

He wants to offer us so much. He wants us to be dependent upon Him because He knows that He can give you everything. That you will only truly be happy knowing Him.

May we see that He is the way, the truth, and the life. May we recognize the benefits when we simply sit and listen to what He has to tell us.

Spend time with God. Not just in prayer, but in quiet.

I have been drawing inspiration from these guys lately.

Chris Stefanick from Real Life Catholic – this guy is dynamic, saw him at a FOCUS conference once, and would go hear him again if had the chance. Really inspiring and full of Catholic wisdom!

Tony Melendez from Toe Jam Music – A  Catholic musician who plays his guitar with his feet! Cool, yeah? You probably wouldn’t believe me if I said I know him personally, but I do! He is such an inspiration; one of his mottoes is, “There is nothing you can’t do” (nunca te rindas).

A few other articles you might enjoy:

How to Create a Prayerful Morning Routine

10 Ways Saying the Rosary Can Change Your Life

Turn Suffering Into Salvation

How Your Love Language Can Change

How to Get the Most Out of a Bible Study

All I Have Is His

8 Ways to Not Find Happiness

Resources in this post:

Calming music for Prayer/Reading

The Search for Happiness: The Four Levels of Emotional and Spiritual Growth

We Pray: Living in God’s Presence

How do you talk to the Trinity each day? What are your favorite prayers? Comment below!