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A really cool thing about preparing for your first baby is the amount of love and advice that everyone wants to give you.
It can be the not-so-coolest thing as well because some people go overboard with their words of wisdom, leaving you bewildered at their impossible mom expectations (You know who I’m talking about)
One really valuable thing you can receive at a baby shower is advice from your family and friends. Usually, a majority of your attendees have already gone through the new mom phase, making them quite qualified to give you some good tidbits of information that you will need in the months and years to come.
All that being said, I feel like I should share with you the best advice I received as a new mom.
I was 26 when I got pregnant, not a young chicken, but definitely a complete newbie at mom stuff. I didn’t enjoy babysitting for non-family while I was a teenager, so my experience with babies was limited.
Be warned, I have a lot of aunts and a lot of cousins. Please enjoy this advice as much as I have! (the unmarked ones were from co-workers when I taught).
“Life is going to get very messy. Embrace the mess.” –cousin advice
Boy, was she right. There is a certain amount of everything about yourself and your life that you have to let go the minute you have children.
And then be okay with the mess. Yikes, that’s often the hard part, at least for me.
You might also like reading: 27 Things I Do Now That I’m a Mom!
“Parent with no regrets.” –cousin advice
This might take a while to get used to, but my husband and I are definitely doing better at this as parents this second time around. Kids are quite resilient, and they will recover from whatever atrocity you may have put them through without meaning to.
Mistakes happen. Accidents happen. As long as you learn from it as parents and become a better one, you are making progress!
“Your kids really don’t need so many clothes. They will wear the same three shirts over and over and over again.” –cousin advice
I loved this one, and it is super advice for all ages of your children. We didn’t have that many changes of clothes growing up, and we were okay.
I think at any given time, my children do not have any more than about 10 outfits/onesies. It has worked out just fine. I just do laundry about every day.
“Make memories with your children — they will remember that more than things! –sister advice
Both practical and true. Most people value experiences over things these days, and your kids will be no different.
“Rocking a baby is NOT spoiling it!” –grandma advice
AMEN, Grandma! Rocking a baby is loving on it, and properly attaching them to you as their mother. Whoever said that children shouldn’t be attached to their mothers?
It almost more embarrassing if they’re not attached to you! I love the Popcaks views on attachment parenting.
“Play with your children! In other words, the house can be dirty; the kids are more important.” –aunt advice
Yes, the house can stay dirty.
Kids learn so much just from playing well with adults and discovery playing. It is amazing to see them learn and light up while you are having “fun time”, too!
“Spend time reading to your baby.” –mom advice
I always loved being read to as a baby. And I loved reading as a kid. And I still enjoy it as a relaxing pastime now.
I honestly think I am a little bit more creative and smart because I read so many books growing up. Not to mention, it really helped me expand my vocabulary and learn what a lot of cool words meant.
Of course, we all know that children benefit greatly when they are read to.
“You’ll be getting advice from lots of people. It is always good to hear and to know that people care. In the end, you’re a smart girl with good instincts. Follow what you feel is best for you and your family.” –aunt advice
Very true. As parents and especially new moms, we must learn to filter out the advice we know won’t work for our family.
Unfortunately, there is a lot of bad advice out there, whether from family or the Internet. (as I write this post on advice, don’t listen to me!)
If you are Googling, try to use more trusted resources, like Dr. Sears or Dr. Ray.
“It’s okay to turn off your phone and sleep when the baby sleeps”
There is no point in being “connected” with people and stupid phones when all the real action is happening in your arms. Just be with your baby.
Or better yet, in the sweet bliss of uninterrupted sleep (hopefully for a few hours!)
“Let them sleep between you–why not?”
This always sparks so much controversy and debate.
Do what’s best for your family, and follow the co-sleeping safe guidelines at all times if you do co-sleep.
That’s all.
“As the baby becomes a toddler, resist the temptation to dumb-down your family meals. Make him/her eat what you are eating.”
It’s going to be hard, and they are not going to eat everything all the time. Accept that now.
But yes, they will be eating what I made, because this mom is not spending extra time making something special. They can eat leftovers if they are desperate. Or nothing.
“Don’t sweat the small stuff”
There are way too many decisions you make during a day at home with a baby. Don’t let those small things ruin your day or overtake your thinking.
Enjoy the small things, don’t sweat ‘em!
“Don’t buy generic diapers”
Absolutely, and I wish they made good diapers that were more affordable. Generic diapers are the flimsiest pieces of half-plastic I have ever seen on a baby’s behind.
There is no way that is holding in a blow-out. Welcome, third outfit of the day!
“Never call it babysiting when Daddy watches the baby! He’s parenting! –aunt advice
And Dad doesn’t get to complain, either. The kids love it when he’s home and watching them!
“Politely listen to advice from others, then do whatever you want and what is best for your family.” –Sister-in-law advice
Kind of a repeat, but such good advice that I have to list it again. It might be a slap-in-the-face for those who gave you that advice, but they don’t have to know you didn’t take it.
“Keep loving your hubby–even when he’s bugging the crap out of you and refuses to change a diaper!” –cousin advice
Haha, yes! Sometimes I think I have another child in the house. I pick up after him just as much as the kids some days.
But I do love him, and even though he might complain about changing a diaper, he usually does the dirty deed in the end.
“Don’t forget your husband, he is your biggest BABE.” –grandma advice
A gentle reminder from grandma about who showed up first. You got married BEFORE you had kids; your husband is your first priority.
Stop making everything about the kids. It won’t benefit them in the end, promise.
“The first time they are caught playing in the toilet paper–take lots of pictures. The second time is when you scold them.”
Oh, my! There is nothing better than getting a sly grin from your toddler who knows he’s in something he shouldn’t be.
Get as creative as you want, but there is some magical pull from the bathroom enticing them to come and play. (Keeping the door closed works so far for me)
“Sleep! Sleep when you can, any time, anywhere. If you don’t you will be so sleep deprived you will not remember your name!”
Haha, what? I honestly can probably relate to something similar of forgetting something so basic.
If you are already a new mom, you know the “mom brain” thing is real. Not much you can do but laugh it off some days.
“Can’t tie the kid up in the backyard. If you should, at least give them some water, shade, and maybe some food! :)” This came from a dog momma!
Oh, man! To parent in the days when we didn’t have to worry about letting our kids play alone outside for hours!
Something freeing about that, yet totally terrifying as we experience the craziness of our world today!
“Enjoy each stage of your baby no matter how difficult it is.” –aunt advice
So true. There are those not-so-fantastic stages that you are going to have to get through one day at a time. And it will pass, and you will probably be sad. Just saying.
“Snuggle them while you can. Before you know it, they will be walking out the door.” –aunt advice
This makes you think about crying, doesn’t it? The most precious thing is baby snuggles, and even snotty toddler snuggles, and the occasional middle school hug and high school side-pat.
Never gets old.
“Love being a mom! No greater feeling of love.” –aunt advice
When you first see your little one for the first time, you know you have never loved anyone more deeply that soon ever. It’s a feeling that happens as many times as you give birth to another.
And I believe that love grows the more children you have, too!
In this fantastic book on motherhood I am reading currently, the author also suggests that sacrificing (loving) for your children makes your love grow for them, as well!
“Pray together, laugh together, cry together, sing and dance together.” –cousin advice
Reminds me of basic human emotional needs. There is a time to cry and a time to laugh, a time to dance, a time to sing. Do all of these things, for it shows them a bit more of life.
By the way, part of that is actually from these verses in the Bible! (verses 1-8)
“Being a mother will change you for good!” –cousin advice
Oh, my goodness, cue the best Wicked song ever, For Good. All the feels, and all the serious responsibility that motherhood can bring.
And yes, this amazing book also talks about the good that comes from embracing motherhood!
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow.
For babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
Just read this one a couple of times and let it sink in. Then go and love on your babies!
So, as you can see, I received a lot of advice as a new mom. I went through and found the bits that work for my family. Most of which I still apply today.
Keep the good, filter out the bad, and toss the ugly that doesn’t apply to your family situation! That’s my advice on getting advice! 🙂
What is the best advice you received as a new mom? Which ones are your favorite???
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