The Best Tips for Moms with multiple little ones

I am seeing it all around me. Moms who are surprised (or have planned) with multiple children in a short amount of years. In short, 3 under 3. 

Let me just clarify; this is not a bad thing. It is wonderful. Yet I can say with honesty that I wasn’t prepared as a mom for life with 3 under 3.

Not at all.

And yet here I am.

It has taken many days of soul-searching, many sleepless nights, and many moments of joy to manage the overwhelm that comes with being a mom of 3 little ones. 

At first, I was a bit naive on how it would all work. It would be fine and great, I would think to myself, not taking into account the needs of all my children and how it would affect me and our family. 

Then, I was having trouble with being angry, fed-up, frustrated, overwhelmed, and just holding resentment towards my children for not being able to do what I wanted to do anymore. Especially when I wanted to do it. I am still in this spot some days, honestly. 

Finally, I started doing some things that really helped me accept my position, helped me find joy in the moments that used to make me sad or mad, and made things happen that previously seemed impossible. 

It is a journey that many take, and few recognize the beauty in it.

What is 3 under 3 and why is it so bad?

3 under 3 is simply having 3 kids in 3 years or less. It can be super stressful because you are a mom taking care of 3 very needy, very demanding children who all have some degree of dependency. Of course, an infant will need more care than a 2 or 3 year old, but a lot of the duties are essentially the same. 

Here’s the thing about having multiple young ones or just multiples. It isn’t bad. The culture in the United States assumes and believes the lie that having a lot of children (and especially not spacing them out) is just crazy. 

Other common misconceptions:

• Having babies close together will make you go crazy (it can, but it doesn’t have to)
• Having multiple young ones is impossible to do anything you want (nope, it makes it a little more difficult, but it is not impossible)
• You will never sleep again (well, this might be slightly true! Get ready for a lot of short nights :))

Why does 3 under 3 happen? 

• Well, we all know how children happen. If you don’t, you probably should go figure that out before reading this article.
• Either a couple is surprised because they don’t keep track of their cycles or they plan it! (gasp!)
• However, many times women are unaware of when they are ovulating (especially while breastfeeding) so becoming pregnant can be a surprise (like it was in my case twice!). Oftentimes, this is God’s plan and not ours!
• You can start tracking your ovulation symptoms with a Clearblue Fertility Moniter and the Marquette Method, or learn Natural Family Planning to help know when you are most likely to conceive! (or just let God plan your family)

However it happened for you, you still are in this situation. And it’s still difficult on most days, I’m guessing. That’s why I’ve compiled these tips for you. 

7 Best Tips for Moms with 3 under 3

I am going to breakdown some of the valuable tidbits I have learned as a SAHM over the course of having 3 under 3 (3 under 4 at the moment). Our youngest is 1, so we have had a year to get used to this idea and work out (some) of the kinks. 

Read these with an open mind, and use what you need. When sharing my journey, I know that not everything will work for everybody. 

Tip 1: Be on the same page as your spouse/partner

• If you are on the same page and communicate with your spouse, it is much easier to handle your kids and take care of them together. 
• When me and my husband do not communicate, it is so much easier to get angry at my children, feel disheartened that I will always be a mom with 3 LOs, and disciplining and accomplishing parenting gets that much harder. 

Tip 2: Find a Spiritual Mentor, Director, or Counselor (or a Catholic coach!)

• I finally did this last October, and it has been really helpful because I have someone holding me accountable for praying, going to confession, and living a virtuous life. 
• If you want to get serious about your faith in order to live your life for God and to be able to pass the Faith along to you children, this is something you should seriously consider. 
• You can find one by starting with your parish and seeing if they have resources or people who are mentors or directors. This article is particularly helpful for finding one as well.  
• I have been coached on and off for the past 3 years, and it has been the biggest game-changer for me. Check out Metanoia Catholic or you can go to my page: I’m a Catholic mom coach, too!

Tip 3: Find + Keep a Good book you like on your bedside table

• Having some light reading (or even some contemplative spiritual reading) to read for a few moments before bed or in the morning can help keep you inspired and relaxed. 
• One such book that I love as a mom is Ultimate Makeover, which gave me a great perspective on the role and purpose of being a mother. 
• For spiritual reading, my go-to is Searching for and Maintaining Peace. 
• And any Matthew Kelly book is a great way to stay inspired. 
• My favorite faith books and family books

Tip 4: Go to Mass/Church every Sunday

• Please keep reading. I know this is difficult when you are STRUGGLING to make it to Mass in the first place, and when you do go, it is embarrassing and distracting to have your children with you. 
• Trust me, it makes a difference to your children. 
• When they see that going to Mass or Church is important to you, no matter what life circumstances are, chances are they will take their faith more seriously, too. 
• We go at a time when the rest of my husband’s family is usually there, so having them around helps in watching and keeping our children behaving, especially when I am the cantor. 
• If you don’t live near family, see if you can sit near friends or find a family, couple, or teenage girl to help you with them in church. 
• This article is excellent on reasons you should be committing to this practice!

Tip 5: Ask to the Holy Spirit to show you….

• The beauty and joy of your children
• Benefits and privileges of being a mom
• What suffering really looks like
• How suffering can be used for good
• To inspire you in your daily life
• Give you the virtues and grace you need to get through any given day

Having the Holy Spirit in your life is a game-changer. I am slowly learning how to invite Him in and give him control of my days. It is scary, albeit necessary for me to live the life God wants. 

Tip 6: Learn what God’s version of motherhood is

• I have written about the Biblical and Catechism roles of a mother in this previous post, but I think it’s even more than that. 
• Like anyone, we are called to give our lives: for the Gospel, for our spouses, for our children. 
• As hard as it is, it will lead you to redemption and a taste of what God intended for us in our motherhood.

Tip 7: Get a mama’s helper or a regular babysitter

• I had to throw one traditional practical tip in there. 
• While I realize this is also sometimes difficult, look for neighbor girls or teenagers to help out in the summer or on weekends so you do things around the house or just go out on an errand by yourself for once. 
• Oftentimes, I will wait until my husband is home from work to get groceries or go on an errand. Or, we all go out together and share a meal and then run errands. 
• Having one or two people you can call when you need a babysitter is truly helpful as a mom of 3 under 3.

So…I don’t know if that’s what you were expecting? 

Here’s what I do know. A year ago, these would not have been my tips.

I would’ve spouted off the benefits of eating super healthy (a great thing always!), the need for 8 hours of sleep (which we all know ain’t happening), time for self-care, the importance of keeping a schedule, and so on. 

Don’t get me wrong. These things are all important to a balanced (albeit what our culture views as perfect and controlled) life.

But the truth is, oftentimes we just can’t have that balanced, controlled, perfect life. With 3 under 3, we are often messy, exhausted, grouchy, and sporting the leggings and hair-bun (with hair that has not been washed in days). 

Balance will restore itself and you will be okay if you focus on many of the spiritual aspects above. The key is to be okay with having those children in the first place, and not be mad every time you have to cancel a girl-outing. 

God has given these children to you for a reason. It is up to you to learn how to embrace this and become a better mother because of it!

The Last Thing(s) You Need to Know about Having Multiple Youngin’s

• Your children and raising your children is the most important thing next to serving God and loving your husband. 
• No matter what challenge you are facing in life with multiple young ones, it will pass. And God is walking with you no matter if you trust and have faith. He is there. 
• It is your greatest adventure, Mama! Don’t let the good times and suffering be for nothing. Make it count!

So, if you have been there (or are there), what is your practical or spiritual tip for other moms out there? Submit your tip below, and I will add it to the post!

Related Posts: 

Turn Suffering into Salvation

The Duties of Motherhood

3 Catholic Ways to Combat Loneliness

Lent Resources for Moms

8 Effective Way to Enhance Your Spirituality

The Power of Mental Prayer in My Life

Family Hug Experiment: What 21 Days of More Hugs Did